Sunday, February 28, 2010

Malaysian Attitude Towards Criticisms

Before I actually begin my gibberish, lets watch the videos.

Above was two videos which I found after wandering pointlessly in youtube for the whole bloody night. While I find nothing in particular fascinating about the content of the clips, it's the comments column which actually magnetized me. I'm not trying to offend any party here for I feel that sometimes Malaysian has to accept criticism politely positive.
The Myvi that I own is not at all a bad car but try tackling Cangkat Jering with it you'll find that the miniature 1.3L engine under the bonnet will only bring you up to 80km/H while screaming all the way up. For me a Myvi is a at the top in the list of the basic car range but heck, all Malaysian cars are only basic even the spec may write bombastic lines. Personally I cannot blame the Top Gear folks for their awful views but Malaysian cars to them is like Tata Nano to us.  Comment which comes after the price will be "take it up to 60km/H you'll probably need a technician to put everything together again". Nevertheless let's compare the the average salary in Malaysia and UK and the cars that we can afford.

1. Malaysia
Wage: RM3k
Car you can own: Perodua Myvi SE @ about RM53K

2. UK
Wage: 3k pound.
Car you can own: BMW 3 Series Coupe M3 @ about 52k pound.

And let's assume the BMW M3 is only RM350k here, you basically have extra about RM300k for lifetime petrol, road tax, tires, body kit, insurance and another Merc C200 perhaps if you buy the Myvi. With the kind of wage, do not forget you'll still need to feed your Myvi, not like it'll run on air alone. RM300k is enough money to fill 167k litres of Ron95 into your pathetic proud Myvi. With 6000 people opt for Myvi instead of Merc, the money saved is enough to fill Mengkuang Dam with Ron95 at the current price and with that we'll probably have enough petrol for the next decades. Of coarse europe is the manufacturer of Merc but heck, isn't Malaysia the manufacturer or Perodua? And owner of Petronas at the same time? Doesn't that give Malaysia an edge over automobil sales price? Probably who ever doing the math for pricing possibly uses his fingers which only limits up to 20 for calculation(21 if he's male).

What could be more wrong than paying almost half of our salary for the car, the other quarter for petrol and maintenance and another quarter to income tax? Wait doesn't that leave us with literally nothing? Damn, I guess that's why the city council left all the grasses spring; you know where to go when you're hungry.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Perfect Shitting Tool for a Gadget Freak!

Do you remember what was it like to doing business 10 years ago? The handphones were as big as brick and we couldn't play "Happy Tree: Friend Slap Happy" with it. The irony is the price which costed about RM2k for a stupid mobile brick. Yes, there were a lot of public phones around, for instance, my block has 5 public phones though only one working. Cause only one was working the coin was always full, and heck, they collect the coins only once a month so it's as good as none. 
So we keep all the contact either in a diary or in the stuff between our ears. Then came this gadget: 

Ladies and gentleman this is called ELECTRONIC ORGANIZER. Man, I had to save like 3 months to have enough for this piece of shit. Basically you can store contacts (maximum 50), does currency conversion and there's even a calculator!  During that time, this is the most "in" product in the market and having none means you're barred from friendship. Everyone walks around pressing one of these. You may store your girl friend birthday in it but if you forget to read, it is as good as not storing at all. Amazing huh? But today we have this:

Well this one needs no introduction. Basically this piece of junk is capable of reminding you when to shit and where to shit properly. All you need to do is to download the apps from apple store. Oh ya, talking about shitting, I was cursing myself for not having a proper camera this morning when I was at Gurney Plaza. Guess what, one of my friend (Andy) actually selling bidet at the basement of a shopping mall. It is no ordinary bidet man....Introducing....The...Most....Advance.....Shitting MACHINE!

I had to use my camera phone, sad. What you can do with this toy is incredible, there are buttons to;
  1. warm the seat before you do your shit.  
  2. wash your arsehole with rotating water sprinkle.
  3. adjust the power of the sprinkle according to your favor. If your asshole is big you may need a bigger jet of water.  
  4. automated flushing system. 
  5. etc...
  6. etc...
  7. Hey Andy, can we cook instant noodle with it? 
Well, I think we actually can as reported by epicuriousgirl . Or is this the latest technology where the bidet can convert our shit into baked cheese rice? My god!

Monday, February 22, 2010

First Time


After merely 6 days from registration, Evanis has got her very first job already. Although the fee was almost pathetic we took it nevertheless. We feel that as a beginner, we should be too choosy about what we can eat. To grow healthily into a mature business, Evanis needs to consume what ever available to obtain sufficient amount of nutrient ($$ and experience). So her very first business order was a trolley ramp that measured 5.5 X 19 X 19.5 inches (0.5 = half inch). Price = secret! 

 The objective is to crease a ramp to push trolley from the corridor into the shop. The ramp has to be strong and light because we're using it to push trolley carrying 30 kg gas cylinders into the shop from the corridor. Since the user is a lady, metal ramp is not suitable. To withstand the weight and pressure, this ramp is made of solid wood instead of plywood. 
The bottom of the ramp is reinforced with layers of beams to confirm the stability. I bet with this design, you can hump a camel on top of it and the pieces will still stay intact! 

I must say that though it is not making a kitchen cabinet but the work is not easy. It requires a lot of brain juice and skills. Previously I thought making a cabinet is just a matter of getting the right measurements and right screws but it is definitely more than that. For a noob like me, no matter how accurate the measurements that we've cut, the rubbish that we've created will never be stable. Of course there are some hidden techniques which I'm yet to discover. 

Do you know what's the size of the screws in the pictures? My bro could tell me that it's 1' and 1'2''. For me it's like looking at my dick and try to estimate the size. For me, I would focus on maximizing its usage. So know your size before screwing around.

We applied some decor at the sides after realizing how ugly it looks with nails all over. 

After realizing how ugly the side looked with nails all over, we decided to decorate it up a bit. The cosmetic materials was scavenged from the used materials around the factory (rubbish la), so we did the environment some favor while doing business. I think we deserve a nobel price for that. lol
And finally, we realised that we cannot afford QC test from SIRIM, we decided to do our own evaluation. That's me jumping on the ramp and it managed to survive even after 10 stomp. I weigh 51Kg at least (ya, I know I'm think, comment for that is not welcomed!
Just like dogs left urine to mark their territory, we simply couldn't resist to leave ours. With this beginning, we hope  it's a good start for us. Until the next job, jiane. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Evanis Ventures

Finally after talking so much and did nothing we gathered the balls and got it registered. When I was there at ROC with my bro cum partner, we were quite nervous because apart from driving there, we prepared nothing. Had not even thought of a name for the company. To us, the most important thing is brain juice and hard work rather than fancy documents and flashy names. Anyways, we were scratching our head when suddenly this name came along and we just scribbled it down the application forms seconds before our turn to hand in the forms.  

Basically this company handles Interior Design and carpentry works but we think we'll sapu anything that makes money. So guys, if you have anything at all to suggest or shall you need some revonation please drop it at 

This is a little something that we started and hope to grow into something that may canopy our family comfortably in the future. We're not sure whether it'll work or not but at least the first step in now taken, we should give it the best shot we can. Actually, it's my bro's company after all but heck, my name was in the form. Haha. That makes me a director now. But hey, don't call me boss, I don't get a single cent; signed the paper incase my bro needed aid. So in the future, there'll be more posts regarding the produce of our baby. 

CNY = another year ol'er

I'm not sure about the rest of you, but Chinese New Year to me has becoming more and more like ordinary days (apart from the traffic jam of course).  Remember when I was small, fire works were "quite legal" so there were plenty of sparks and lights squirting during the season but recently due to the strict enforcement, the excitement was drastically reduced. Nevertheless, it's a good thing less houses got burnt down.
As usual, we had a family gathering at the eve at a fancy restaurant where often the waitresses were grumpy.

Thumbs up for this restaurant not because of the food but rather the hospitality provided. Despite missing reunion dinner, the owner and employees served us with a broad smile. Sometimes I feel bad for them, to make extra income, they had to sacrifice valuable time serving us which watching families feasting together right at their nose. Therefore I feel that I should promote for them a little...The restaurant is situated at Crystal Point Penang (the biggest roundabout in the island, you wouldn't miss it)

First dish is always Yu Shang. As for the history, this dish was started from Ipoh, Perak (not Hong Kong folks!) and slowly it's famed towards other parts of the world. We believe that by tossing high during mixing, we'll get good fortune in business for the years to come. Since my bro is starting his own business this year, he gets to mix first. It's actually quite disgusting to mix Yu Shang. We're actually mixing our saliva into the dishes. Imagine you're kissing your bald uncle. Damn. 
I think if the sharks are extinct, Chinese should be held responsible for it. No matter what occasion, there is Shark Fin Soup. I felt a bit bad every time this dish was served but my crave for the fins quickly overwhelmed the guilt. Haha...Guess that why we're on top of the food chain. 
Hey, I'm not exactly that greedy ok. There are some which I loafed. For example this Abalone with Mushroom and Broccoli (Shit, it's spelled with one L and 2 C), I wonder why would anyone like this dish since it tasted so plain and unattractive.
Overall, the food is only "so so" but I like the dessert. Winter Melon sorbet with Sago. Actually, it's not the food that matters, it's more like precious family bonding time.  
My cousin brought along a bottle of red wine which tasted not bad. My parents didn't allow me to drink any liquor since young. Now I cannot drink at all. So if you have kids, train them. There's nothing wrong in drinking, just don't get drunk. My first drunk experience was at 9 years old. One of the family member brought back white wine from Australia and it tasted so damn good. I remember drinking 2 cups and apart from that, the next thing I knew was morning. 
In the past, we would quickly went home to "hoi toi" (gamble) but since the family had shrunk so much, there no more kaki and we ended up gossiping away. My mom's side was almost like casino for all the 15 days. This year, it's just a few of us chatting away at the Hotel living room and me of course toying with my SLR. Here is one particular shot which I like best. Chinese New Year is so calm and serene. Feels like Christmas more than CNY.   
Oh ya, this year my status is already upgraded to UNCLE. WTF I'm only 24.  I remember his father used to run around shooting other kids with fire works but now he shoots his wife and resulted in this <<<<.Anyways, everyone meet Jayden. Cute right? Staring down at the little fellow made me really appreciate the process of aging. 
There are some years went by when I looked only towards the front but definitely not this year. This year I looked back and there's countless fond memories I would smile for. How about you? After so many steps ahead, have you taken one step back? Happy Chinese New Year everyone. 

Friday, February 12, 2010

Happy Chinese New Year!

I remember when I was small, Chinese New Year was an exciting event. By that I mean it's so breathtaking that I could sleep while waiting for its arrival. My mom had to pat me to sleep using a cane. Sigh... The main reason this celebration is so worth waiting is, I get to see all my relatives and especially cousins. Back then, I only get to see them several times a year and now it's getting less and less. Probably due to pressure from the society that we have to move on with our busy life hence less time for all nonsense. The huge family tree was thorn apart by lightning several year ago rendering the circle of the "official" family smaller. This year for what ever reasons, I couldn't wait to see everyone again. Anyways, Happy Chinese New Year folks. I wish you all a healthy and brimming prosperity year a head. This year I will add another phrase in the wish, I wish you all significant increase in Intellectual Capacity in the year ahead.
Since the economy is bad and I couldn't afford anything physical, this is a "Phong Kam" I'm sending. Hope you like it :)

Friday, February 5, 2010

Typical Eventful Day

Warning! This is gonna be a long post!

Well, I cannot afford fancy holiday to Europe or even Singapore. Life for me is everyday xeroxing the day before. Therefore, I need to find inspiration to keep carry on passing time. So I think it's best to treat everyday as a holiday since I go different places and meet different people almost everyday.
My day starts with a simple "cheap" breakfast at some lane around Georgetown.
Accompanied by a pack of Nasi Lemak.
Actually the meal only cost RM1.80 normally but today 2 of my technician joined me for breakfast. At the end they assume that it's my duty to pay everything, so my simple breakfast turned into an expensive 5 start lorong breakfast (RM3.80). As usual, I went to the office to show my face to the bosses. Pretend to be busy and buzz around for awhile before I took off to Bangkok Lane. There I did some presentation to the Cheah Family. The whole presentation and questionnaire session ended after 2 long agonizing hours and we did some cam-whoring. 

From left, Boobalan is the building manager for the family, middle is me and on my left is Jason Cheah. Well, Jason is...erm...a good boy. Ya...a good boy. 
Since I was nearby, the next stop is Burma Lane where lay the tourist trap, Burmese Temple!. Photo time!

The architecture is simply amazing. Even after taking so many photos through these years at this place, I feel that the temples are still fascinating enough for a few more sessions.
There are countless figures for cam-whoring but I was there alone. So, there is no one to hold camera for me.
Apart from Buddha statues there are some animal carving. At some angle, they look alive. 
Sleeping Buddha is the main attraction...It's about 40m long. 

That reminds me about Thern's blog. Imagine you got a super poke from this guy.

The temple was literary carved from wood. Look at all the wooden structures. 

At the entrance we were welcomed by hot angels. I would dare going near her. See her bf behind. 

A must go place if you ever come to Penang. After snapping substantial amount of photos, it's time for lunch...finally. So I went to Seck Chuan Road for a light lunch. It's right beside Chulia Street but I kinda wondered, why is Seck Chuan a road when Chulia is only a street. Chulia is about 3X the size of Seck Chuan. 

It's a part of Penang where building old fashioned. This is the centre of Penang where UNESCO announced as heritage site. Sadly rumor says that we'll soon lose the heritage status. At this area, we often see kuai lou roam around looking for cheap hotels. Basically you can find everything here; construction tools, vegetables, antiques, bak kua and even prostitutes. Let's talk about bak kua. Chinese New Year coming right? Everyone loves Bak Kua...ever wonder how they're made? 

I found these sun bathing in the alley. Birds might add some flavoring while we did not noticed. Maybe that makes this taste better. 

It's pretty humid in Penang, so for lunch an Iced-Herbal-Tea is a must to prevent sun stroke. There is a stall at Chulia Street selling good Wan Than Mee. For me, this is the best so far. If you think it's no good, I think probably your tongue needs some maintenance. 

Look at the meat inside the skin. Unlike most Wan Than Mee, the Wan Than over here are generously packed with meat.  

Dessert for me was some Java Apple. It cost me RM1.50 which I think is over priced. Nevertheless, this stall  has been selling fruits for a few decades. It's fresh! You may want to take this to rehydrate after visiting prostitutes. 
One this I don't understand is, why do we have to pay for parking in Penang? 
We are already paying road taxes. This and that taxes. Not like anyone is there to care for our car. After paying it's still park at our own risk. If we're gone for long hours, it's very troublesome to keep on coming back to reload these hopeless machines. It's not properly maintained where sometimes when we insert coins, the time will not top up. 

Parking tickets are even worse. After issuing the ticket, the parking attendant will conveniently gone missing. We're supposed to hunt for him or pay the fine after several days. I think this is bull shit!

Anyways, next I went to Kuantan road for some work. Nothing interesting there apart from the heat! Luckily my next stop was Gurney Plaza...hehe...air con...air con....
After completing all my works, on the way coming down to my car, there's some live drawing show. The artist was damn pro. so I didn't miss the chance to capture the moments. There's a sailor wannabe being drawn. It's so amazing how skillful the artist and that dude sat for hours. 

As I wanted to capture a good shot, this bitch came along. Brainless motherfucker. It's not like she didn't aware there are some snapping photos but she couldn't give a damn. Wanted to ask her to "fuck off" in Japanese but I figured she wouldn't understand anyways. 
These are his product for sale. One of the girls is Crystal Liu Yi Fei. There's Bruce Lee and Andy Lau too. Damn, he's good!

It rained on the way home....not unusual to rain but on a hot glaring day? The sun was still burning the ground while the hot rain poured mercilessly. Pity those bikerz. 

On the way, my friend called and we chatted for 41min and 19 sex...oops...19sec. I think he's lonely.

After a quick dinner, I was off to Pu Xian temple for the opening ceremony of the Buddha Statues. 
Walao, 3 temples in a day! I was there on time for the longwinded speech by Dato Seri Ong Ka Chuan. This is the first time I see a big shot arrived on time. 
Why do they have to speak so long huh? The ceremony ended with lion dance and firework that attracted me to the event. Photo session!
That's basically 1 day for me. Thanks for reading, yawn...time to sleep.