Monday, June 10, 2013

Diary oh diary 10-6-2013

Last night was disastrous. She finished work in Ipoh at 10pm and went home. The an hour and a half journey took more than 2 1/2 hours and that got me worried. Messaged were unanswered and smses left un-replied. I had to know that she's safe. At 12.10, I hopped onto my car and sped towards home. "oh my god, please please please let her be alright". I have no idea how fast I was driving, all I know is I kept on stepping on the pedal. It was a blessing that there were no cars at night. Her reply came when I was reaching Sungai Perak. She's safely home. My journey back to the hotel took more than an hour. I need the hour on the road to cool myself down. My hands were shaking. Not much sleep as well for the night.

Today is a day of mixed feelings. I called at the evening to check if she's available for dinner. I was rejected because she'll be occupied with paperwork at home but got myself into a good mood, because through the phone she sounded like she's in a very good mood as well. I told her I'll call her at night and she said okay. My heart was beating like hell. All I wanted was to quickly rush home and wait for the night fall, so that I can call her again. I waited until 8pm for that was the time she's usually home to call. She's outside. I had no idea she's actually available. Perhaps she's doing some shopping alone again. I wish I can be there for her. She sounded grumpy and thus, rendering my happiness short lived.  

My body is aching all over due to the gym but tomorrow I'm not going to skip working out. But gym is not my real intention. I had to wake up early to do something else. And there's a gap in between which I needed filling, gym seems like a good option. I hope I can sleep well tonight, it's too much of me being in the darkness, awake. Do you reckon she knows how I'm feeling?

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