Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Diary oh diary 11-6-2013

Of all the messages that I sent, only 2 simple replies. One word each replies. I want to know what's happening around her. I want to be involved in her life. But she's shutting me out. I feel a part of me missing now. It's like this emptiness that slowly decaying me from the inside. It's not exactly curiosity but it feels like I'm lost in the empty space where my life is a previous story which I can no longer reach....no matter how hard I try.

It's exactly 1 week now, I have not talked to her for sometime. She used to ask me chat another 5 more minutes before cutting the line. Now, I can't even hear her voice. I have finally cut the line.

Diary oh diary, did I tell you about my dream last night? I dream that i was riding a bike. The scene was so vivid I didn't know that it was all in my head. There's this scene of me passing by a commercial complex and everything around me was on fire. It started with one shop and the fire spread to the others quickly burning down everything on it's path. People around were trying to extinguished the fire and crying at the same time seeing their life being burnt away. But the fire was too fierce to be stopped. I halted my bike and sense certain connection of the situation to my own. Is this how I really feel? And i resumed my journey to no where. I didn't know where I'm going but I kept on riding. A few vehicles in front of me was her car. I sped up the powerless bike but couldn't catch up. She kept pulling away everytime I was close. Somehow I felt that the bike is as if part of my own body. It felt tired. Have you ever had similar weird dream? It's so real. And the alarm told me to wake up, at 5am.

What is she doing right now? Is she feeling tired from the travelling? How's her team meeting? Did someone bully her?

Will we ever talk again?

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