Friday, June 21, 2013

Diary oh diary 20-6-2013

World War Z was an awesome movie. It reflect that human life is indeed short. It made me think, if the world is ending tomorrow, what will I do today? 


From the group whatsapp I knew that she back in the country. I'm glad she back safely. Her name appeared on my phone once more made my heart skipped a beat. Somehow it came as a surprise to me. Missing her has become something I'm slowly accustomed to. I want to see her name appearing more often than it is now. I want to hear her voice badly. But I can't. 


Diagnosis and the doctor says I'm not dying anytime soon. It is a good news for me, but I struggled not to think that if it was a bad news, if I'm terminally ill, at least I know there's a shelf life to my suffering now. My thyroid is functioning more than normal now. I'm not exactly suffering from hyperthyroidism, my hormone level indicated that its at borderline. But the symptoms shows that I am. Figures from the report says I'm not warrant for a medical treatment. But the doctor ended up saying I have to hang in there. I need to go back for periodic check up to make sure it won't pass the threshold. Physiologically I'm constructed more emotional than normal human. I'm more easily angry, sad, and whatnot a human can feel. 


I need her now. There's nothing I can do for myself. There's nothing I can do for us. I feel helpless. I hope tonight will end with a good sleep and tomorrow I shall begin with a more excellent day. I need to make a better me. 

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