Sunday, July 14, 2013

Diary oh diary 13-7-2013

13-7-2013 has ended. What happened today?


I woke up in the morning to conduct a fumigation audit in my exployer. It's amazing that I can still remember the details of the audit and the crucial informations after so long. I guess some skills are die hard and will follow us to the grave. 


Noon was my hardcore workout session. After a meal, my body was feeling lazy and movements were lethargic. But I continue pushing and telling myself that its all mental. In the end, after counting, I have done more sets and lifted heavier. I made sure that my body felt sore and my arms and legs couldn't not longer lift another rep before giving up. In deed our body can take more load that we knew. The protein mixture was too sweet for my taste, but it did boost up my energy and allowed me to lift another time before failure. I kept on reminding myself that, the drink is not for my tongue but it's for the pecks. 


And buffet dinner for the appreciation were noisy. The convention gang met again for a little catch up. I took a seat closest to entrance and found myself kept looking if she's arrive. She was late. Seeing her this evening made my heart rushed. The night did not last long before my emotion gave in....that's the cue for me to leave. To my best of luck, I found her alone at the dessert bar. With much courage, I invited her to my car so that I can pass her the gift I have prepared with much tears. I told her that I'm sincere and waiting to get back with her. She left out a sigh but did not oppose. And I told her, if she needs time, I'll give her time.....I saw her left with the gift hoping she'll read and like it. As I told everyone I had somewhere to go, I didn't. I just needed a quiet place so that I can cry alone. Again, nobody needs to see or know that. 


It took awhile to finish tearing and calm myself down. And it's time to go home. Upon reaching home, there's a motorcyclist luring on the floor unable to lift himself up. He's helpless. As I took part in the 3 men aiding session, I felt some deep satisfaction and got part of my heavy heart lifted. I have helped some helpless guy today. Life is short, we wouldn't know what will happen to us tomorrow or the day after. How long will my emptiness lasts? Isn't here any aid to my own helplessness? 

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