Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Diary oh diary 9-7-2013

Dear Diary, things become clear right now. Many teary nights had passed and they had washed away any murky thinking I was having. Finally I have decided to hop on a plane and travel to the adventure I was planning all this while. Flight tickets was bought. Itenery and schedule planned. Money prepared. I'm hoping I can find some sort of new culture from this journey. I hope I can find a new purpose in life. I hope it's true that if we do something that we'll never do, some different outcome will turn out. It's like Steve Job preached, "think different". The past 2 weeks I was highly unpredictable. All this while I was already like this. Nobody could've guessed what I was thinking and what I was about to do. It was fun. 

Perhaps being too busy and taking up all the burdens had caused a change in me. I became boring and predictable. I became not caring and selfish. Being unpredictable is fun. Of coarse l took care of the daily business before going away. Sales target will be hit this month. Daily chores will be completed. Many had asked, why not wait alittle longer? What's the rush? I had to find a purpose, a reason to continue going. I had to see things from a different perspective. Why am I on this world? I'm given this much time and strength, what am I going to do about it? Will I continue to dwell in the thoughts of her? That's why I cannot wait. I'm not leaving as a tourist. I'm leaving as a souls seeker. 

I still dream of her daily, there are times I checked on the phone constantly thinking to myself, this is the time normally she'd ring me up. The difference is this time, my phone remained silent. Will this get away sees a different me? A stronger me? I have no idea. While others might see this act as foolish, I see this as a perfect timing. After all, Steve said, he saw all this as genius. After all, doing things the same way and hoping on a different result is simply insane. Lets pray, I'll find myself. 

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