Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Diary oh diary 9-7-2013

Finally, the present is here. I was under the impression that it'll take much longer than that. Am I ready enough to meet with her and tell her how i feel? Should I let her know how long I have prepared this gift for her?

I'm excited. The first thing I did was to message her asking her out for dinner. She was in KL having training. From the message replies, it sounded like she's still angry over me. Perhaps she's not. One thing I have learnt is that sms always delivers emotion inaccurately. I would like to take it for granted this time. And so I waited until after dinner to giver a call hoping I can at least talk to her. Ask her how she is recently and set a date for our future dinner. She was not convenient to have this regular chat, and she said she'll call me back. I have waited, waited and waited. My phone remained silent. It's very demotivating.

For the days where I couldn't meet with her, I always made it a point to give her a call first thing reaching home. My call would reach her the moment I step out of the parking lot. I always wanted to listen to her voice before proceeding to the night ahead. We were so close once, she's always asking for another 5 minutes on the phone. And I obeyed. She couldn't understand why I needed to give her a short call and hang up after that and a call before sleep. That's because I was tired after work but I wanted to hear her voice nevertheless. Now I can no longer hear her voice. That's sad for me. It's down for me to know that something else has replaced my space in her heart. Sadness is mine, I hope she's happy.

I'm tugging in the gift made for her close to my chest, where it's aching the most right now. Somebody, please save me.

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